I bet he comes in French.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
