Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
