Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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