i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
