So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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