You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
