you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
