i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
