just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
