yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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