This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
