if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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