Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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