it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
