My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
