I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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