Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
