she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
