Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
