i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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