I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
