My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
