I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize