could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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