Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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