i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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