I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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