I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
