it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
