She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
