Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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