Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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