apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
