Please, let me fuck your mom
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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