Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
