my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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