Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize