What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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