Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
