Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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