Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
