dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
