Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
