Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
