im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
