i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
