You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
