after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
