I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
