Umm I'm too high to move.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
