I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
