I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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