Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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