the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
