Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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